It has been almost two months since my last blog.  I want to do at least one more blog about our last few wonderful days in Nagoya, with some photos.  But for now, here is a part of the group who came to bid us farewell.

How can one possibly express all the gratitude we feel for so much love that was shown to us as we left Japan.  It surprised, amazed and humbled us.  The people we worked with and came to know in Japan were so easy to love.  They were so good to us and we loved every minute with each of them.  The Bairds opened their home in order for us to say goodbye to these wonderful people one last time, and it was an experience we will always cherish.  We love Japan.  We love the people we came to know from Japan.  We love our missionaries and we love the Bairds.  We are deeply blessed by each of you.  Thank you, always, for who you are and all of your kindness to us.

We got home on April 8 and saw our wonderful doctor on April 9.  Everything looked good and surgery was scheduled for May 8.  I felt good except for a cold I caught on the plane ride home, and we stayed busy enjoying family and getting settled back in as much as possible.

I went into surgery on May 8 with a positive attitude and little fear.  If you don't like to read details of illness, just skip a few paragraphs.  Most women who have this surgery are out of recovery after about an hour, and some of them go home the same evening as surgery.  My recovery took 5 hours, and I was able to go home the next evening.  I had two really difficult days, partly because I didn't manage the pain well and tried to go without pain medication.  That was dumb, but it was my first surgery and I thought I could do it.  But on the 4th day I developed a fever and we were told to go to emergency.  They kept me for 24 hours.  The fever went down, they re-hydrated me, and couldn't find a problem so sent me home.  I don't remember when, but a few days later, we noticed that my right leg was swollen.  Another trip to ER, with the fear that I had deep vein thrombosis.  But instead, it was an abscess resting on a vein, cutting off the flow of blood.  I had a staff infection.

We later learned that my cancer had spread almost throughout the entire uterus.  But it was still contained.  However, there was also another kind of cancer there, clear cell adino carcinoma, more aggressive and dangerous.  It is always associated with infection.  They don't know if the infection comes first, or the cancer, but they are always together.  That had been contained, too, until the doctor went in and disrupted things.  That was the cause of the abscess in my abdomen.  I was about 5 days in the hospital fighting that with strong antibiotics.  It was a hard time, and there were other side effects that I struggled with.  But finally I was able to come home.  I was so very glad to be home.

Since then, it has been mostly forward steps, with only a few steps back, but each day usually seems better.  Last week in my appointment with the doctor, he said he felt I would be ready to start chemotherapy this week.  If my blood work comes back OK, I will begin tomorrow, June 4.  Today, I sadly went and purchased a wig.  I also need to get a hat or two to keep on my head.  Hair will start falling out on day 18.  I will have six rounds of chemo, three weeks apart.  That will be completed on about Oct. 1.  The doctor doesn't know yet if I will need radiation therapy.

I am beginning to learn some of the massive information I will need to know for this process.  At times it seems overwhelming, but then I adjust and we move forward.  I haven't felt very social, but have been deeply grateful to have been able to go to Sacrament Meeting last week and take the Sacrament, and to attend all three meetings yesterday.  It was a spiritual and emotional boost I needed.  So many people have been so kind and loving, and I have received some wonderful advice and support.  So many women have been through this, and I know I can do it.  Sometimes it seems to me that I am slow to adjust, but I am doing my best.

So it doesn't seem to me that details of chemotherapy are a very happy thing to write about in a blog.  And I sure if you want to know more about it, there are some wonderful blogs out there, written by brave and inspiring women.  I think I will call this the end with regard to my cancer story.

Thank you to so many wonderful readers who have seemed to enjoy reading about our wonderful adventures in Japan.  It was a time we will always cherish, and your feedback and expressions of love made it all the more fun for us.  Hopefully there will come a day when I can do another blog about another mission.

Love to you all,

Ilene and Lee

Some More Change

About a year and a half ago, I wrote my first blog.  It was called "Some Change."  There was a picture of my hand, holding some change in it--kind of a play on words.

This blog could repeat the photo.  There is some more change.

A few weeks ago I began to have some symptoms that worried me.  I talked with our son Nate, who is in medical school, and he said I should go to a doctor as soon as possible.  We were able to do that.  It seemed as if we got in to a doctor, and then an OB/GYN who she referred us to with exceptional speed.  Within another week, we learned I have cancer.  I will need a complete hysterectomy.

My first thought was that I could get it done here in Japan and be back on my feet to do the work that I need to do.  President Baird recommended I go home for the surgery, and Lee did some research on how the medical profession works in Japan, and I began to agree.  So I decided I could fly home, have the surgery, and since it is done laparoscopically, I would be back on my feet in a couple of weeks, and could return to finish our mission.  But President Baird talked with Elder Ringwood, the Area President over the missions in this part of the world, and he felt is was most important to take care of my health and family.  I have come to realize the wisdom in their council.

But in all honesty, I was more upset about leaving than the diagnosis.  I cried for the first time.  I have had another week to adjust, and am more accepting now.  But I am still sad we won't be able to stay the full time.  I really never thought this sadness about leaving would happen.  I have missed the grandchildren and children with all my heart, and thought I would be so anxious to get home.  I think I would have been totally ready in the three months we have left, especially since by then it would be hot and muggy in Nagoya. But right now the cherry blossoms are at their peak, and the beauty is breathtaking. I just wasn't ready.

We are in the middle of some wonderful teaching and sharing opportunities with potential new members.  We have grown to love so many people.  We had been laying out plans to see all the best places within the mission before we left.  We wanted to be here to support President and Sister Baird as they ended their mission and help with a smooth transition for President and Sister Yamashita as they began their time here.  We just weren't ready to go.

But go we must.  Our flight leaves on Monday the 8th, and we will arrive home about five hours later (by the clock).  On the 9th, I have an appointment with a gynecological oncologist.  We feel blessed that we were able to get in with a very good, very experienced doctor.  And I feel completely at peace that everything will be fine.

In fact, it's ironic, but a few weeks before all this happened, Lee and I were FINALLY able to stop our out-of-control overeating.  We decided to cut way back on sugar, take smaller portions, and eat lots more fruits and veggies.  We have both lost the weight we gained while here and are feeling better than we have felt in a long time.  I can hardly believe there is cancer lurking inside of me.

So five days from now we will be on a plane to Oregon, USA and our wonderful family.  But Japan has been one of the sweetest adventures of my life and a place we both enjoyed.  I learned to love this land and people and we have made some dear friends.  I have changed in ways that I am thrilled about, ways that I have wanted to change for a long time.  I will forever be grateful for this experience of serving a mission in Japan.

PS:  This is not the end of the blog.  I still have some catch up to do.  I'll be back.......

More Fun, Part 1

I suspect readers may be getting tired of my "travelogs."  You have seen pictures of thatched roofs, lots of fall leaves, and probably way too many shrines.  But humor me here.  I want to remember this stuff, and possibly turn this blog into a book after our mission.  So if you are tired of the above-mentioned items, just click off now.

Last December, our wonderful 79 year old Ever Ready battery, Sister Kondo, arranged an opportunity for us to see more fall leaves, visit some shrines or temples, experience some new foods, and see something that I hadn't known existed:  a variety of sakura tree that blossoms in winter. (It was December 1st!)  The blossoms are white, and the trees are planted among Japanese maples, which are bright red.  We also went to a place where they make paper, and it is some of the most beautiful paper I've ever seen.  We had another great P-day.

Here are some of my favorite photos from the day:

I love the many Japanese red bridges.  We are on our way to this tiny town that
was having a fall festival.  It must be beautiful all year, but they must have
many tourists, all year I would think.  There is also a buddhist temple here. 

And we were treated to more thatched roofs.

Another cold, cold day in Japan!  Do I look like I'm freezing?  I was.

Beauty every direction one looks.

Miles of beautiful clean paths, with beauty on every side.

And an abundance of stairs.  Great exercise, and Sister Kondo eats it up.

This is what most Japanese cemeteries look like.

This area fascinated me.  As I looked at these little men, I had questions.  I feel badly that I'm writing about this
five months after being there, so I hope my memory is right.  Each represents a distinct individual,
and each has facial characteristics somewhat like the person who died.

Can you see the differences in these gentlemen?

Wouldn't it be interesting to know their story.  There is so much history here.

He must have been sweet and kindly.

This fellow was near a temple.  Maybe a place to make
offerings on the way to the temple.  Not sure.  It's nice that
he gets to sit on a pillow.

The scenery everywhere was just breathtaking.

Mushrooms being farmed on logs.

Here's another look at the mushroom "farm."  Not too big, but
it must be adequate.

Quite the brave beauty, in freezing weather.  

I saw this guy as we walked through the market.  I thought he was cute.

Roasted and skewered fishies.  Don't you just wish you could have some?

Sister Kondo chose this little place for our new
eating experience.

And this is what we ate.  I can only remember that I liked it.  

Another beauty, braving the cold.

Our next stop included more stair climbing to another lovely temple.

These fellows greeted us, and seemed to be asking for more, even if they
already looked pretty prosperous.

These are at every temple.  I had always thought it was people leaving
prayers, but I need to check for sure.  It seems to me it was something different.  

I've written before about how people who want to pray at the temple first come to the water.  They pick up a
cup in their right hand and pour water over their left hand.  Then they put it in their left hand and pour water over their
right hand.  They never let the water off their hands go back into the fountain. I believe they are washing away sins.
 I loved this darling dragon, keeping guard on the fountain.  

Isn't he just the cutest gargoyleyou've ever seen?

This didn't get carved in a day!

I thought the ceiling of the temple was beautiful.  There is so much detail.

More Fun, Part 2

Last December, our wonderful 79 year old Ever Ready battery, Sister Kondo, arranged an opportunity for us to see more fall leaves, visit some shrines or temples, experience some new foods, and see something that I hadn't known existed:  a variety of sakura tree that blossoms in winter. (It was December 1st!)  The blossoms are white, and the trees are planted among Japanese maples, which are bright red.  We also went to a place where they make paper, and it is some of the most beautiful paper I've ever seen.  We had another great P-day.

Just too many good photos, and I'm only putting in about 1/20th of them.  So here we go again.....

Add caption

I think this looks like a painting.  It was so very pretty.

For lunch, Sister Kondo surprised us with homemade
Bentos.  They were absolutely delicious.

There is beauty all around....

Let us know if you need some new brooms--we can buy them for you.

Last stop:  a handmade paper museum and workshop.  We may be going back here to try our hand at paper making.

This picture doesn't show the exquisite beauty and detail.  But I loved it and some other very large
paper art they had on the walls.  I asked where I could purchase from this artist.
They made a phone call and we were invited to his studio, just a short walk away.
What a treat.  It was so amazing to watch him work and to see more of what he had done,

This is paper pulp, ready to be made into something beautiful.

This is the artist at work in his studio.  He is putting the blossoms on the sakura tree, one tiny petal at a time.
So many hours of work!  (And his prices reflected that!)

In his studio, enjoying every intricate detail.  These were like nothing I had ever seen, and very tempting.

One of my favorites.

It was really fun to meet a successful paper artist.